So Fetch
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i’m on a baby names website to name a character


one of these things is not like the other

yeah i mean who the frick would name their kid shaelynn

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Idea for a two-volume book series:
  • Book one: a life-affirming story about pretentious teens with superiority complexes who have experiences and give nauseatingly quotable musings on philosophy and what it means to be alive, which often involves their enjoyment of books and tea and their condescending view of the popular kids as sheep
  • Book two: the same exact story, except this time it's being narrated by the teacher who has to deal with these asshole kids on a daily basis but is legally barred from saying "are you fucking kidding me" when they say some pretentious bullshit about how they prefer the smell of old books to the taste of alcohol. The teacher is re-telling the story to her friend at the bar, and her friend refuses to accept that these children could POSSIBLY be as pretentious as she makes them sound


watching the world cup more like stalking for hot players i didnt know existed

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for some reason my watch doesn’t work at night

?? what kind of watch do you have


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*logs out of twitter for 52 years* 


"Money won’t make you happy"

Yeah, financial stability is just horrible

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hi everyone, it’s dorothy gale from kansas, and i nominate the wicked witch of the west for the ice bucket challenge

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i like having my own apartment bc it means when my family comes to visit i can just say “you’re under my roof” and they can’t protest shit

update my dad is grounded

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